Last night's football

If you, like many, sat down on Monday night to watch our glorious internationals trudge along to a laborious and achingly dull 3-1 victory, you will have noticed many things.
Anyone with a keen eye would have seen Michael Carrick, recently dropped by Sir Alex, struggle to maintain possession for longer than 2 touches. Anybody with glasses resting upon their ears and nose would have seen Wayne Rooney show a distinct lack of his usual enthusiasm, as he tiptoed across the fragile Wembley pitch, ever-aware that hitting a divot at pace could end his world cup, in what was an ultimately pointless match. An OAP with severely large cataracts in both eyes would have seen Walcott continue to threaten with his lightning pace, only to fail at delivering a decent end product.
But for some unknown reason, the media, the pundits, columnists and journalists were unable to show anything but praise for what was, in effect, a dire performance by Steven Gerrard.
Oh yes, he crossed for the first goal (kicking toward a man who towers nearly a foot over his marker is by no means an impressive feat however), but for anyone without Merseyside spectacles, Gerrard misplaced pass after pass on Monday evening, frequently gave the ball away and did not show any sort of ability which would distinguish him as a first choice for South Africa, not by a long shot.
As the papers, fresh from Capello’s comments today about playing Lampard and Gerrard, quickly work out formations and tactics which can accommodate the pair, I believe I may be the only blogger writing this – ditch Gerrard.
As a Manchester United supporter, any of the Anfield faithful will be quick to call me out for a bias attitude, so I’ll begin by saying that the inclusion of Carragher in the England squad was a pleasant surprise, as he possesses the dogged determination that we need on that plane, and that Michael Carrick should not be picked ahead of Scott Parker, Tom Huddlestone or a half fit Gareth Barry.
There.
Having watched Liverpool saunter to a dreadful 7th place this season, I attributed their demise as a top four team to two reasons. One was their dependency on an in-form and fit Torres with no decent replacement, and the other was Rafa Benitez’s refusal to drop ineffective Captain Fantastic.
Gerrard spent the entirety of last season taking pot shots and playing Hollywood passes which seldom reached their destination, much to the detriment of the Merseyside outfit.
When I read today that Steven Gerrard was ‘amongst the best midfielders in the world’, I choked on my morning brew.
Players like Xavi, Iniesta, Lampard, Kaka and Sniejder have incredible vision, picking out their teammates with a variety of beautifully weighted flicks and passes, varying from the short and sharp to the long and exquisite, possessing the skill and ability that we Sunday league players can only dream of.
Never are any of them guilty of the ‘hit and hope’ strategy which Gerrard employs, visible at any amateur football ground on a muddy Sunday afternoon, or school courtyard during lunchtime.
So when it comes to matching our ‘best’ midfield against the world, I would argue that Lampard, as a cornerstone in the title winning Chelsea team for many a year, has to be first pick.
As for whom goes alongside him, that is up to Capello, but I sure as hell would not detract from Lampard by attempting to shoehorn the ineffective Gerrard in there.
He is, and forever will be, the very definition of a YouTube player.